Family

I love my family. I love being a mom. Sometimes it seems hard. Sometimes the things I have to do are hard. But I love my child. I love that I am able to have Wesley and be his mom each day.

It makes me sad to hear or see some women not want to be moms. It also makes me sad when moms want "me" time over time spent with their children. Sometimes I get scared that I might start to think that way. That "I" might become personally more important than Wesley.

Tonight I read a blog that I've visited before. Each time I get to the page I think, "why don't I read this blog more often?" It looks so inviting and happy. It's written by an LDS mother and its about her family. It's when I start to read that I remember why I don't read it more often. This wonderful family lost their 4 year old son to brain cancer this past year.

Each time I read her blog, I weep. For her loss, pain, struggles, family, etc. I cannot fully understand how that might feel but just trying to begin to understand breaks my heart. I love my sweet son. I am so grateful I have him with me each day. I don't want to imagine life without him.

So for this year I'd like to focus on my family. I want to focus on fulfilling my roles as a wife and mother. As a sister and daughter and granddaughter. As an in-law.

Because life without my family... I just can't imagine it. I won't.