The Extra 30 Pounds- An Honest Thought About Becoming a Mother

When I graduated high school, I weighed 125lbs. I hadn't played soccer or exercised in almost 9 months. I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm out of shape and fat."

Fast forward 6 years. During that time I went to college, got married and had 2 kids.

Today I weigh 153lbs. I haven't played soccer in over 4 years. It's been almost a year since I worked out. There's been days that I can't seem to find anything to wear, my hair is nothing short of a giant mess and I've stared at myself in the mirror and thought, "Man, I'm out of shape and fat."

But mostly I have days like today.

Today, I woke up and cuddled with my boys. I watched cartoons and tickled them. It took me until noon to change out of my pajamas. Throughout the day, I had several intimate conversations with the man I love. My boys (and man) took me on a lunch date. They ran and got me ice cream while I watched my favorite show this evening. We had several mini-dance parties in the living room, kitchen and bathroom. We played with trains and cars and read books. We laughed, shed a few tears, and smiled more times than I can count.

Tonight I looked through old pictures, some from when I was in high school. I smiled at those days. I looked good, better than I thought I did as a 17 year old self-conscious girl.

Tonight I realized that I also look good today. It's not because I have a killer body, because I don't. It's because of what I've done with my body. I have yet to run a marathon, but I have brought two beautiful boys into this world. I have the stretch marks, the dark circles and the 30 extra pounds to prove it.

Some may think that it's not a big deal to be a mom, but I know differently.

Being a mother has brought me more happiness, joy and fulfillment than I ever imagined. For now, I'm just going to try and be healthy and enjoy the blessings that come with these boys. 

One day I may lose all 30 extra pounds, but my body has forever changed. I'll never be that 17 year old 125 pounder again.

And I'm more than okay with that.